The Importance of Personal Boundaries

Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, made fun of, taken advantage of or sapped of our good nature and drained of our positivity, wisdom and support.

Photo by Sam Manns on Unsplash

Something has been missing from my personal self care plan lately and my relationship to myself has become strained. I have been taking steps to recharge my batteries, do more things I enjoy and honour digital and work free time during the day but I still feel like I am missing a piece of my self-care puzzle.

Only recently, something clicked and I immediately thought... my personal boundaries are weak!
 

For over 3 years I have been in a "giving mode". I give my time, energy and personal wisdom to everyone who might need it (not just my clients).

 

I am constantly (yet unwittingly) in 'coach' mode and it's time that I put an end to it for my own sake. It's exhausting and I know I am not the only coach to experience this fatigue! 

 

Setting clear personal boundaries is not only super important to ensuring relationships are mutually respectful, supportive and caring but it's imperative to our own wellbeing as well.

 

Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, made fun of, taken advantage of or sapped of our good nature and drained of our positivity, wisdom and support.

Establishing effective personal boundaries is not just for ensuring our physical space is respected or saying no when we think someone is taking advantage of us or walking all over over us. 

Personal boundaries is also emotional! Energy that can be sapped by well meaning energy vampires, drains, negative Nancy's and ruminators either online, in person or complete strangers that you feel compelled to help will erode your boundaries, leaving you feel exhausted and drained.

Have you ever felt like your weak boundaries leave you feeling vulnerable, taken for granted or even hurt by others?

Healthy personal boundaries can be a measure of self-esteem. It's so important to remember that you deserve to be treated well, and feel protected from energy vampires and people who just don't have your best interests at heart.

 

For me, knowing that it is no one else's job but mine to protect my personal boundaries has helped a lot. And knowing my limits has also helped. Not everyone needs me to give them a 100% all of the time, and my worthiness is not tied to perfect, productive, busy or being the giver of the best advice. I am worthy simply because I am me. 

 

Now that I am clear on what these boundaries are and even more clear on what my limits are, I'm going to start practicing being more assertive with my boundaries. I can't keep giving all my emotional energy away to strangers online or in the street (yes I do this).

 

My energy, boundaries and emotions are important too and I need to respect them. My advice would be to get clear on your boundaries, communicate them and be assertive!

 

Remember that you are worthy and your personal boundaries are important as well. No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable, to take advantage of you or drain you of your energy.

 

Sarah is a life coach and motivational speaker. As the co-founder of The Better Life Project and creator of L-Schoo, she’s the “go to” life coach for anyone feeling stuck in a rut, lacking in confidence or struggling with low self-esteem or body image. Sarah offers life coaching and mentoring services and works with clients in person in Dublin, Ireland and over Skype around the world.

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