"You can be right or you can be better, but you can not be both"
I learned a valuable lesson recently when it comes to running a business - you can be right or you can be better, but you can not be both. The same can be said for life as well.
There are so many ways in which we prevent ourselves from achieving success and over the last few weeks I have learned about how I have been standing in my own way.
Over the last few months I kind of got stuck in my own head a little. It wasn't that I thought I knew it all! In actual fact it was the exact opposite - there were times when I felt completely overwhelmed by how little I knew.
But I was letting my ego dictate the speed and course I was taking and, eh, this is not a good thing! It's actually a really, really bad thing!
I have also learned that you have to have a breakdown before you can have a breakthrough and I have had both in a short space of time!
In the last few weeks I have been pushed, challenged and exposed and for a brief second I felt frustrated and ashamed that as a coach I wasn't able to spot my problem and help myself sooner!
I have no problem asking for help, but in this instance I had no idea how utterly lost I had become.
We don't see things as they are anymore, we see things as we want them to be.
Putting things into perspective isn't just necessary when we are feeling sorry for ourselves!
It's a must when things are going well, too! Putting things into perspective is an invaluable tool to help us reflect and grow - we need to practice upwards and downwards perspective putting!
Upwards perspective is crucial if you want to continue to progress! Many of us limit ourselves by what we think we can do and because of the bubble we live in few of us will ever see what can be done!
A healthy dose of competition is a great reality check and it will help us up our own game too! Too many of us are either looking at the ground or just ahead of head us, but from now on I am going to look up!
Now that I able to see parts of my past more clearly than ever, I can see bits of myself in so many others as well!
We no longer live with perspective because we are driven by our ego.
Living with perspective means always looking at your life from above 10,000 feet with objectivity and truth. Nevertheless, in todays world so much of what I see in other people is driven by the need to feel significant - special, unique and always right.
We can feel significant by either bigging up our perceived strengths or by playing the victim.
Our true self has been boxed up and forgotten about.
We strive to be the best and if we can't be the best than we can make up for those perceived short comings by talking really loud (on the internet, for example). If we are not comfortable talking loud then we play the victim.
There doesn't seem to be an in between anymore!
Social media has become the greatest enabler to the individual ego. Every thumbs up, heart and re-tweet is validation and any sort of criticism is viewed as hate and the troll responsible is the enemy.
As a coach I want to help people be the best version of themselves but to do this I have to empower people to actually SEE themselves.
But the truth is so many people avoid their true self because they don't think they will like what they see.
In my case, I wanted to be better and I wanted to be right. I wanted to find the answer and the solution to my own problems and if someone else pointed them out I freaked!
I realised that my need to feel significant in my business was in actual fact a hindrance to my success.
The same can be said for you and your goals! When was the last time you made big progress towards your goal?
When was the last time you made ANY progress towards your goal?
Even though I take great pride in what I have achieved so far, one of the greatest things that has happened to me since setting up my business (and in so many other areas of my life) was seeing first hand that the only limitations that exist in life happen when we settle.
But don't think that you need to apologise or make up excuses for being "weak" or making mistakes. Don't hide your hard work, accomplishments and failures behind shame and embarrassment.
Your true self doesn't need to aspire to anything other the best version of you.
I own my accomplishments and I celebrate these personal victories . However, I will always look for someone who is better so I can see that my dreams are in fact someone else's reality. This way I know it can be done!
Life is not easy or fair but life is what you make it! Worts and all, learn to accept and love who you are.
Whilst I can now look back on the last few weeks and embrace my weaknesses as well as my strengths, I don't think this would have been possible with out taking a birds eye view on my life first!
I can accept my faults without letting them define me and I can accept a negative mindset without letting that guide my future. Most importantly I can accept my mistakes because it has helped me learn and grow.
If you can take a birds eye view on your life - from 10,000 feet in the air - and embrace what and who you are (worts and all) then you can use this to take one giant leap towards your goals :-)