Crazy sexy confidence is not bravado, or swagger. It’s not loudest person in the room, the first person to speak at a meeting or the best dressed or highest paid. Crazy sexy confidence is quiet. Crazy sexy confidence is a natural expression of ability, expertise, and self worth.
You can spot a crazy sexy confident person a mile away. We all have that one person in our life that is self-assured, together. They can handle every thing and anything thrown at them and they never dwell on negative consequences and always see the light at the end of the tunnel. They know their worth and rarely – if at all – compare themselves to others. They take more risks, don’t question themselves and believe that they can handle any problem.
And they all look different because having crazy sexy confidence has nothing to do with how you look or what you wear! Crazy sexy confidence refers to how you feel about yourself and how you treat others! Here are 4 ways that you can develop crazy sexy confidence today.
1. Learn to Put Yourself Front and Centre
Some of us put so much focus on taking care of others that we neglect our own needs. And some of us are so accustom to giving our love away to others that we forget to save some for ourselves. Self love will empower you to make decisions from a place of kindness, compassion and respect.
If it ever feels like you are more present for other people, that you are more connected and in tune with the needs of people around you or that you want to please everyone then it is time you start to show some appreciation to yourself.
You need to fill your own tank so that you can take care of the people around you. By simply redefining the word selfish you can learn to – guilt free – put yourself front and centre in your own life. Spending time refuelling and nurturing your own individual needs does not make you selfish. In order to care for and love those around with the intensity and passion that you want to be remembered for it is so important that look after you.
Your needs and desires are important. Self care is not self indulgent, it is an act of self preservation.
2. Stop caring what people think
Easier said than done, I know! But there is so much to be said for aligning your energy and focus to what really matters! Caring too much about what others think will immediately ses you up for failure. Recognising your UNIQUE value, raw beauty, unique gifts and letting go of the need to please others and fulfil others peoples desires and needs will set you free.
Only when you spend more time looking after everyone else is the significance of the relationship you have with yourself so apparent.
It is the most important relationship you can have but often experience guilt, tension or shame for this. When you can value your life as much as you value someone else's you will finally break free of the negative cycle of guilt and shame and finally follow your own intuition. The only opinion that matters is the opinion you have of yourself and with practice you WILL get better at honouring your own needs and desires!
3. Reconnect With Your Personal Power
Your self-esteem was developed as you were growing up and sadly, low self-esteem (how we feel about our selves) is an all too common reality for most women. The reason low self esteem for women is so detrimental is because it disconnects you from your personal power.
When you're disconnected from your personal power you lose sense of how amazing and full of sparkle (unique sparkle) you truly are. Your unique talents, strengths and beauty are clouded by fear, a lack of understanding of your worth and value or a lack of purpose.
Not only do people in todays world not understand what their power is or how to live in it but they constantly stand in their own way of understanding how to take the first step towards it.
We live in disempowered states, serving the vision, needs and desires of everyone else around us. Does it ever feel like you are more present for other people, that you are more connected and in tune with the needs of people around you?
During periods of stress, inner turmoil and busyness you can feel vulnerable, exposed and even weak. Does it ever feel like your inner 'mean girl' voices prays on your insecurities and before you know it you have started to focus on only the negative aspects of yourself.
(I do!)
You might adopt an all-or-nothing mentality, disqualify all of the positives, predict the future or engage in "fortune telling" and obsess over what we feel we should look like. Every time we do this we give away our power, we lose the ability to take action.
But what does personal power even mean? Personal power is an awareness of self that empowers you take action and honour life's vision. Your personal power is what guides you to create a life you love and a business, job, relationship and home filled with purpose, fulfilment and joy.
You already have it, it's time to own it!
4. Stop Making Comparisons
For me, wearing heels or wearing leopard print instantly boosts my confidence (I imagine I must feel like Beyoncé did at Glastonbury) and I use affirmations when my "mean girl" voice gets too loud. BUT there will – I promise you – come a time when you will need to turn your focus inward.
Too many women feel that they ONLY way to strengthen their confidence and self esteem is to build from the outside... but this will only get you so far! Your worth and value as a women is not designed or intended to only be understood by embracing and accepting your outer beauty.
To understand your true worth or value you must be able to recall your personal strengths, successes and blessings quicker then you can reapply concealer (or hair gel). When we start to feel bad about ourselves we get sucked into this negative spiral and just forget all of the things we like about ourselves.
The first thing that you can do to beat the comparison trap is to compile a list of your strengths, accomplishments and successes and to lodge these into your success bank where you can reflect and review on these often. This is the best possible way to avoid making unhealthy social comparisons. But there is also a different kind of comparison, isn't there?
Sometimes we are able to rationalise our differences to other women and embrace them.
But do you ever struggle letting go of what you once were? We compare who we are NOW to who we were in the PAST. You know that you always changing, even if you can't see it!
Realise that you'll never be 18 again. You will never be where you once were, and that's OK! You can be a better, older, more valued you!
You are exactly where you need to be in life right now. You have to move away from what once was and focus on what you can have, and what you can be.
Sarah is a life coach and motivational speaker. As the co-founder of The Better Life Project, a movement dedicated to helping you live happy, healthy, positive and confident lives and with oodles of infectious energy she is super passionate about helping to inspire you make your awesome life happen. She’s the “go to” life coach for anyone feeling stuck in a rut, lacking in confidence or struggling with low self-esteem or body image. Sarah offers life coaching and mentoring services and works with clients in person in Dublin, Ireland and over Skype around the world.
