Sarah Doyle

5 Ways to Love Your Body

 
 
(Article as featured in A Lust For Life)

Your body is supposed to be your friend but for many of us we are at war the with our body and our life is the battle field.

 

Do you feel consumed by anger, desperation and shame because your body doesn’t look a certain way? I know how it feels! It can turn into quite the obsession trying to fix what we think is broken, to turn our body into something that will only then be worthy of love.

In today’s society we have been taught that the most attractive feature of a person’s humanity is their appearance and the most desirable assets are youthful looking skin, a flat stomach, perky bum or long, toned legs.

To top it all off we have been led to believe that it is acceptable to do whatever it takes to get there. Our attitudes to our body is that it is only a prop to express beauty – to be made look pretty, skinny or lean.

We are bombarded with campaigns that imply that are bodies are not good enough. No matter what the type – skinny, lean, fat or athletic – there is an unrelenting force telling us that our body is wrong.

Many of us allow these disempowering campaigns to penetrate, distort and manipulate the beliefs we hold about our own bodies, and as a result value, worth and identity.

But your body is the companion that will empower you to truly understand and connect with your health, strength, vitality and agility. Your body is a powerful presence in this world, and it wasn’t put on this world to look a certain way or fit whatever the current cultural mode of ‘perfection’ is!

All bodies are worthy of love! Here are 5 ways you can start your journey today.

 

  1. To love your body does not mean you have to love ALL of your body. It’s an unrealistic standard to tell ourselves that we absolutely have to love every part of our body — or else. We can love parts of our bodies and not the whole thing and that is fine! Loving your body is a continuous journey and not an uphill battle to fall in love with every atom of your being. As long as you focus more time and energy loving the parts of your body that you love instead of hating the parts you hate, you will be just fine.

Focus more time and energy loving the parts of your body that you love

 

2. Fall in love with what your body CAN do! Your body is designed to do some incredible things – squat, bench, kart wheel, skip, cycle, run, play, dance! Explore what your body can do and fall in love with movement.

Fall in love with movement

 

3. Your appearance does not define your worth or value, period! Your self-esteem is not bound to an outside thing, your sparkle is already inside of you. If there is an imbalance in your life – if you spend more time thinking about the gym, exercise, your body or food – then shift your energy towards something else. Your body is not your identity but it is easy to get wrapped up with your reflection when you spend so much time thinking about it. Life is a BIG picture, don’t ever forget that! When you are on your deathbed, do you want to be remembered as the girl who could list her top 5 diet tips at the drop of a hat?

Your feminine beauty is already inside of you

 

4. Fall in love with your body, not someone else’s. Comparison is the thief of beauty, happiness and success – yet we all do it. If you are serious about developing and growing in confidence and self esteem than you must focus on your personal strengths, uniqueness and successes.

Comparison is the thief of beauty

 

5. Stop beating yourself up because you don’t look a certain way! If you saw your child talk to herself the way you sometimes do, your heart would break! Your negative self talk is not going to make your thighs any smaller or your tummy any flatter and it certainly won’t make you feel any happier. Treat yourself with love and kindness and you will begin a journey of self-acceptance and self love.

Treat yourself with love and kindness

 

Your body is your friend and your companion. It is okay to love your body. It doesn’t make you full of yourself, vain, conceited, cocky or self absorbed. You can, and should, acknowledge your beauty and love your body with kindness and compassion and in turn inspire others to feel they can as well.

How do you feel right now? A little better? That’s good – that’s a thing called hope. Maybe you didn’t realise it before, or you’d forgotten – but things can and will be better. You just need be reminded.

You don’t just need one reminder though. You need daily reminders until its so hardwired into your brain that you don’t even think about it anymore. This takes action!

“Working with Sarah has been life changing. My journey is just beginning. I felt like I did the hard work myself, which was necessary, but that Sarah led me by the hand throughout the whole thing. Without her support and guidance I couldn’t have done it.”
— Ali

It’s not about dieting, even though I’m a certified personal trainer. You need to love your body and shift your energy away from the non-stop stress of calorie counting, punishment cardio, suffering and misery.

It’ll take about 21 days to get there - 21 daily reminders. But from day 1 you’ll feel amazing.

 

You have hope – and that lifts the weight off your shoulders.

 

This is the only way out of hating your body, binging, purging and relying on how you look to tell you how to feel.

Genuinely, it hurts to see beautiful women, loving friends, mothers and family members put up with that kind of misery every day. You’d think that if you’re successful in work, or in sport, or even just in having great relationships with friends you could overcome something like this. But you can’t. It’s a deeper emotional response that clicking your fingers or pushing to the back of your mind won’t resolve.

Even when you think you’re over it, you’re not – ever experience that time you’re in new clothes, feeling pretty good about yourself only to see a colleague or random girl dressed the same, only wearing it better? Then the self doubt starts. The confidence you had is gone. You’re back to second guessing yourself.

…that’s because it was never really there in the first place – it was a façade. You can’t paper over the cracks. You need to knock the house down and rebuild it.

It’s a simple process. Not easy, but simple. Knowing where to start is the hardest part. There’s 3 steps you can take every day to shoring up your foundations.

 

I’ve put it together into easy to consume 20 minute daily sessions in an online programme called My Body Beautiful. 

If you’ve heard of life coaching, but never knew what it was – now you do .That’s all there is to it. And like eating out, you can do for a donkey kebab, or a fillet steak.

The clients I work with are normal folks, living a “normal” life working in a wide variety of industries from retail to corporate to unemployed. The programmes they join normally require a monthly investment of €300. Some will even upgrade to my VIP Lifestyle Design package which is €1,500. The common factor linking them all together though is that they invest in themselves and put a high priority on their own happiness.

I know the investment there seems high. And when you don’t know what you’re getting, or if you’ll be successful, it’s hard to justify. That’s why I’m giving you a test drive today.

I told you it will take 21 daily reminders to start shifting into love yourself mode, so I took the thing I use with most clients in every session, and put it together into an easy to consume package for you – for the next 21 days we’re going to re-programme your beliefs. It takes just 20 minutes a day.

So you can spend €1,500 on my 3 month lifestyle design overhaul program, and spend the first month of that working on your belief systems. Or you can join My Body Beautiful and do the same.

  1. To get you started, we’ll even do a Skype consultation for 30-60 minutes so I can walk you through the programme and make sure you understand everything before you get started. I do it over Skype because it means no matter where you are, you can get started. I’ve clients in every corner of Ireland, and the UK – even though I'm in Dublin. My programmes are particularly popular in London. Normally, it costs €90 to do a private Skype consultation with me, but as part of this programme you get it for free.
  2. Then you’ll get added into the My Body Beautiful Facebook group where you’ll get to share you experience and light bulb moments with the other girls taking part.
  3. Every day for the next 21 days you’ll receive an email from me first thing with your daily affirmation, a task to do, and something to be mindful of each day.

My Body Beautiful is just €47 for 21 days.  About the same price as a bottle of water and a chocolate bar each day.

“That sounds so perfect - thank you! When I read the description online I couldn’t believe it - it sounds so exactly like what I need!! Yes please reserve me a place and just let me know how and when to pay!”
— Hannah

There’s obviously a full money back guarantee. If you regret joining up in a few days, or weeks, just tell me. I’ll immediately refund the €47 and replenish your water and chocolate fund! You don’t even have to tell me why it wasn’t for you – just let me know its not working out and I’ll refund you immediately.

You DO have this in you. I know its scary. But no one else is stopping you. This is a landmark moment. You are the only person stopping yourself from making a change.

You want to make it. You NEED to make it. Today is the day to take action on it.


Click the button below and sign up now, we’ll be on the phone inside 3 days, and you’ll start your programme on March 1st.

How to Live in Your Personal Power

Whether your intention is to reduce stress and anxiety or to take back control of your life, you have the power to make this very easy or very hard on yourself.

To align with your personal power is to live a confident, authentic and empowered life. Yet few women, in todays world, understand what their power is, let alone how to live in it.  

 

Having experienced one of the most challenging, rewarding and overwhelming years of my life, 2015 has taught me many lessons.

I understand, all too well, how the inner 'mean girl' voice can wreak havoc on our lives and force us into a disempowered state of mind. 

 

During periods of stress, inner turmoil and busyness I am left feeling vulnerable, exposed and even weak. My inner 'mean girl' voices prays on my insecurities and as a result my day, week or even month becomes a constant people pleasing, submissive, suppressive and powerless up hill battle. 

I have learned the power of practicing kindness and compassion to my body. However, the most recent and challenging phase of my life has been to live fully, in my power as a women. 

A woman running a business. A woman in a loving relationship. A sister, daughter and a best friend. But also a woman who is trying to fall in love with her life, and also herself. 

But what does personal power even mean? 

I did some digging around on line and came across this, in my view, perfect definition by a psychologist called Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D*;

“Personal power is based on strength, confidence, and competence that individuals gradually acquire in the course of their development. It is self-assertion, and a natural, healthy striving for love, satisfaction and meaning in one's interpersonal world. This type of power represents a movement toward self-realization and transcendent goals in life; its primary aim is mastery of self, not others. Personal power is more an attitude or state of mind than an attempt to manoeuvre or control others. It is based on competence, vision, positive personal qualities, and service...”
 

YOUR PERSONAL POWER IS WHAT GUIDES YOU TO CREATE A LIFE you love and a BUSINESS, JOB, RELATIONSHIP AND HOME filled with PURPOSE, FULFILMENT AND JOY.

IT IS YOUR "THIS IS MY LIFE AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT" BAROMETER. 

 

Your self-esteem was developed as you were growing up and sadly, low self-esteem (how we feel about our selves) is an all too common reality for most women. The reason low self esteem for women is so detrimental is because it disconnects you from your personal power.

When you’re disconnected from your personal power you lose sense of how amazing and full of sparkle you truly are. Your unique talents, strengths and beauty are clouded by fear, a lack of understanding of your worth and value or a lack of purpose. 

You inner mean girl voice consumes your thoughts and before you know it you are giving our power away.

 

Not only do women in todays world not understand what their power is or how to live in it but they constantly stand in their own way of understanding how to take the first step towards it. 


We live in disempowered states, serving the vision, needs and desires of everyone else around us. If it ever feels like you are more present for other people, that you are more connected and in tune with the needs of people around you or that you want to please everyone then it is time you start to take your power back. 

You need to fill your own tank so that you can take care of the people around you (Read 5 Ways to Honour Yourself to learn more about how you can show some appreciation to yourself).


Here are a few example of how and when women give away their personal power;

  • Caring too much what other people think 
  • Using words like "just", "I'm just wondering if you got my email", "I just wanted to say"
  • Unnecessary apologising.
  • Feeling like we have to do 'XYZ' so that someone else is happy or expects something of us.
  • Our discomfort with self promotion, whether in our business or in a relationship. 
  • A desire to be liked by everyone around us.
  • Failure to recognise that you are unique – Comparing yourself to other women in any way, shape or form immediately sets you up for failure. Recognising your inherent value, raw beauty, unique gifts and letting go of the media’s unrealistic definition of beauty is an essential step to regaining power over your body.
  • Failing to recognise the most important relationship in your life –  Only when you spend more time looking after everyone else is the significance of the relationship you have with yourself so apparent. It is the most important relationship you can have but as women we often experience guilt, tension or shame for this. 
  • Using other women's bodies as aspiration or goals - When we do this we are devaluing our unique gifts and identity. Wanting to be stronger, fitter, leaner, muscular or bigger versions of ourselves is OK but we should not pick and choose other women's body parts to validate these desires. 
  • Dieting - When we diet we relinquish our power and ability to be guided by our intuition, love for food, ability to practice moderation and trust. I acknowledge that some diets are a necessary precursor for many people but when we set unrealistic and unhealthy boundaries for ourselves we restrict and limit ourselves as well.
  • Dressing to hide our bodies - Society has told us that there is a particular way to dress for our body shape that is flattering. As a result we experience shame, embarrassment and even disgust when we we show our bodies. When we take heed of this advice we are giving into the idea that our bodies should be covered and that it is normal to do so. 
  • Apologising for the way that you look - You know when you run in to a friend you havent seen in a while and you apologise for how you look or rationalise it to the other people? Or maybe you out a photo up on Social Media apologising for state of your hair, makeup, lights, angle? Stop doing that!

 

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

 

To live in your power means that you do not apologise for who you are or what you want - you are unapologetically you! 

To live in your power is to live an authentic life full of purpose, meaning and love - it is to be the best human you can!

 

Like Amy below, you can start to feel good about yourself and your life again. Your first step to living in your power will be to create empowering beliefs around your body, mind and spirit (or your purpose). Far too many women feel like they need to completely change in order to feel happy, but this is not the case.

By living in your power - your confident, authentic and strong self - you can change how you think about your life. You will start to feel like you are enough. 

As a life coach it is my job to hold YOU accountable to the commitments you make to yourself. I can help you breakthrough the fear, doubt and insecurity that is preventing you from living in your power and understanding your true worth and value as a women. Talk to me and let me empower you to connect with your confidence, value, worth and strength. 

Get in touch with me today and find out how I can help you transform how you feel and think about yourself - body, mind and spirit!


Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-experience/200904/personal-power


Goal Setting For 2016

Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality. The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life.

 

If you have been feeling a little stuck in a rut or if your goal has been eluding you for too long, Its time to figure out what has gone wrong so you can kick starT 2016 with a bang!

It's no secret how much I LOVE goals and how much I believe in their potential to completely transform a persons life, wellbeing, success and relationships. A good goals programme will help you and teach you how to;

  • Manage your life
  • Plan and get clear on your future
  • Honour your values (you have personal values right?)
  • Set your goals and accomplish them
  • Celebrate your success
  • Learn from failures
  • Monitor your progress
  • Preempt challenges or road blocks
  • Be creative and make progress on a daily basis through habit formation
  • Have fun

 

Here are my top tips to make YOUR goal a reality.  


tIP 1: Create a clear plan

Your clear plan - also known as your BLP goals programme - will be made up of at least 5 seperate stages which I have outlined below.  Get a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you think your goal is. Using the BLP goals programme template start to think about how this goal will fit into your life. 

  1. Starting Point: This is important so you can track and monitor your progress.
  2. Task: Small things that you should be doing every day (habits) to bring you closer to the end point. Your ability to form good habits might be the difference between success and failure.
  3. Milestone: Lets you know you are moving closer to your goals. Our brains get bored and frustrated if we chase the same thing for too long.
  4. Celebration: This is possibly one of the most undervalued stage of any goal setting programme. Always take the time to celebrate your wins, not matter how small! There is no such thing as moving the goal posts back! There is only forgetting to take stock of your accomplishments and celebrate them. 
  5. End Point: Ensure that you’re working towards a fixed date to help keep you focused, motivated and accountable. 

TIP 2: TAKE OWNERSHIP OVER YOUR GOALS

Research shows that when we take ownership over something, including our goals, we are more committed to it. Taking ownership over goals means it becomes "ours" thereby becoming part of our identity (but please read tip 3 to understand more about this). 

Don't be afraid to talk about your goals either, and don't be afraid of what people might think of you - it is only ever small minds that judge big goals. 

 

TIP 3: CREATE MULTIPLE GOALS

I love goals and I truly believe they can completely transform a person’s wellbeing BUT I believe that goals should be pursued with balance and authenticity. So, when you are creating goals for 2016  create up to three different goals that cover the big areas in your life - job, personal and relationships.

Taking ownership over your goals, or simply just having a goal, can make us feel special and significant - it feeds the ego which can be a good and a bad thing!

It’s good because the ego hates failing. But it's bad because it becomes TOO easy to align our entire identity, worth and value with this one goal and then consequently lose the ability or even the desire to balance their thoughts and actions about their goal with any other parts of their life.

You think that you always have to learn from failure. You feel like your always need to be ON. Show the world you are real and you make and learn from your mistakes.

The pressure is on to always to do/learn/be something.

When you feel this much pressure you lose the ability to innovate, create and explore other ways of achieving success so you inevitably become stuck. Your confidence takes a knock and you lose touch with your intrinsic value and worth as a human. Your goal ruins you! But by spreading your passion and energy across 1-3 important areas in your life you are actually preserving your passion (and sanity) in the long term. 


TIP 4: HAVE FUN WITH WHAT YOU VALUE

Does your goal reflect what’s important in your life, or is it something that has been foisted on to you by someone else? And if you had to wake up at 5am every day to do it, would you? And would you do it with a smile on your face?

Your goal won't always make you happy, at times you will need to pull back, but if your goal doesn’t make you happy most of the time, you should ask yourself is it working out? 

 

TIP 5: GET HELP

You probably already know what you need to do to fix whatever it is that’s wrong with your life, or at least if someone was to ask you the right questions you’d know exactly how to answer it.

But most people just don’t know how to ask the right question so you need someone who does. A life coach - with hundreds and thousands of hours doing just that - is a MUCH better option than a random friend or partner who’s more concerned with not offending you, than they are asking the right questions.

Like Aisling, you need to find your own answers and I’m here to help.

A decision isn’t TRULY made until you take a step towards turning that decision into a part of your reality. You need to pursue real life experiences. You need to take action. 

And in this case, that action is to send me a message and tell me what’s up and I’ll see if I can help. I won’t lie to you – not every problem is solvable by a life coach, but I bet there’s a lot more that I can do for you than you realise.

Do what Aisling said – take Action. Send that message now.

A single hour long coaching session might not seem like long, barely even enough to crack the surface. But when you deal in the scientific principles of happiness and life coaching, you can get to the root of the problem, and create a very effective set of first steps very, very quickly.

Hell… let me surprise you with that.

For less than the cost of a Saturday night on the lash, you could have your world turned upside down just like Aisling did.

---- truth bomb: most people go out on the weekend to try and forget about the problems you’re about to step up and tackle. Imagine going out just because you wanted to have a great time with your friends. Not just because you were trying to escape something ----

That’s what coaching with The Better Life Project can bring you so send that message now.

Don’t even think about it, because if you do, your brain will come up with one million and one reasons why you shouldn’t. Listening to that part of your brain hasn’t worked until now.

Talk to me instead, and let me help you work it out. We can't be an expert in everything and sometimes we just need an extra pair of eyes to see something we are missing, or an extra set of hands to pick us up if we are struggling. 

If you are becoming frustrated by your lack of progress or need to reboot your motivation than I can help. As a life coach its my job to hold YOU accountable to the commitments you make to yourself. 

Get in touch with me today and find out how just 60 minutes with me can help transform your goal!

CONTACT SARAH TODAY

3 Reasons Why You’re Wrong About Life Coaching

You know… you probably don’t need a life coach. Because one of the first things a good life coach will do is just ask you to solve your own problem. I know that sounds mad, but bear with me.

See, you probably already know what you need to do to fix whatever it is that’s wrong with your life, or at least if someone was to ask you the right questions, you’d know exactly how to answer it.

But most people just don’t know how to ask them.

So… you don’t need a “life coach”, but you do need someone who knows exactly the right questions to ask. But a life coach with hundreds and thousands of hours doing just that is a MUCH better option than some random friend or partner who’s more concerned with not offending you, than they are asking the right questions.

Like Aisling, you need to find your own answers. And I’m here to help.

Before you can do any of that, you must take action. A decision isn’t TRULY made until you take a step towards making that decision reality. That step is… action.

And in this case, that action is to send me a message and tell me what’s up and I’ll see if I can help. I won’t lie to you – not every problem is solvable solvable by a life coach, but I bet there’s a lot more that I can do for you than you realise.

Do what Aisling said – take Action. Send that message now.

A single hour long coaching session might not seem like long, barely even enough to crack the surface even. But when you deal in the scientific principles of happiness and life coaching, you can get to the root of the problem, and create a very effective set of first steps very, very quickly.

Hell… let me surprise you with that.

For less than the cost of a Saturday night on the lash, you could have your world turned upside down just like Aisling did.

---- truth bomb: most people go out on the weekend to try and forget about the problems you’re about to step up and tackle. Imagine going out just because you wanted to have a great time with your friends. Not just because you were trying to escape something ----

That’s what coaching with The Better Life Project can bring you.

Send that message now.

Don’t even think about it, because if you do, your brain will come up with one million and one reasons why you shouldn’t.

Listening to that part of your brain hasn’t worked until now.

Talk to me instead, and let me help you work it out. 


8 Habits of People With a Healthy Relationship With Food

Young-People-Eating-Junk-Food.jpg

 

I SPENT ALL OF MY TEENAGE YEARS AND MOST OF MY 20'S COMPLETELY OUT OF TOUCH AND OUT OF CONTROL WITH MY FOOD AND WEIGHT. I WAS A FAD DIETER, OBSESSIVE EXERCISER, OVER EATER, EMOTIONAL EATER AND BINGE EATER. I DID IT ALL!

 

Looking back it is incredibly clear to me that I had a very negative relationship with food. I reached a point in my mid 20's when I realised that if I didn’t help myself now things would get so much worse.

 

Over the last few years, since meeting James, I have worked so hard to release myself of any negative feelings I associated with food.  To say that I have learned a lot along the way - about myself, my environment and the people around me - is an understatement. I am really excited to share some of what I have learned in the form of habits I believe people who have positive relationships with food have. 

In life there are very few absolutes, but a persons relationship with food and their understanding of what this means should be pretty straight forward! If you have rules, control, manipulate, manage, guilt, shame, plan your food or and if you use the word clean, treat, cheat or "it fits" then I am pretty confident you do not have a good relationship with food.  

 

But above all else, if you can not you balance your thoughts about food, exercise and your weight with other parts of your life then you do not have a good relationship with food. 

You might think that you do hon, but you are off your fekin rocker!

 

HABIT 1 - YOU ARE NOT RULED BY RULES

There's a fine line between thinking carefully about what we put into our bodies and obsessing, restricting, counting or making it fit!

For a lot of people who require a “structure” to kick-start a healthy and sustainable eating plan rules can be a good thing. However, most of the time we are being sold complexity over simplicity and unhealthy relationships wrapped up in short-term promises.

Whilst it’s easy to define a healthy diet by the foods that we choose to eat, the real magic lies in how we feel about those foods and ourselves as we eat them. Even starting off with the best intentions of a balanced approach to food we often find ourselves creating more and more rules or getting that little bit stricter in the hopes the results will come faster, and this is where a lot of people get themselves into trouble.  

 

HABIT 2 - YOU DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP

You recognise you have a need for food and a desire to eat certain foods that you enjoy and you feel good about filling that need.  

Beating yourself up after eating certain foods, punishing yourself by exercising or depriving yourself at a later stage is unhealthy, both mentally and physically. If things go wrong, and you make a mistake do not use food as a tool to punish yourself. Do not use food to reward good behaviour and do not think that eating a couple of extra biscuits means that you have failed and can justify eating the whole packet. 

Don't generalise an entire experience because of one small mistake and remember that your identify and worth is not determined by your diet, mistakes or successes! 

By our very nature humans being are fallible - we will make mistakes! When you do make a mistake avoid creating more rules to make up for it and don't blame your failures on a lack of discipline.  Ask yourself this question and be honest; Is beating yourself up working for you? How long have you been dieting for and are you happy?

 

HABIT 3 - YOU INDULGE AND KNOW IT'S OK

To me the word diet suggests fear, restriction and a lot of hard work. But when you have a good relationship with food you can eat certain foods without feeling guilty or ashamed. You understand how you can apply balance and moderation to your life and that you will not become fat after a piece of cake. Food is a massive source of pleasure, fun and celebration and it is OK to enjoy this side of what food has to offer!

 

HABIT 4 - YOU TRUST YOURSELF WITH FOOD

Do you use your diet as an excuse? Are diets like Paleo, low GI foods, counting macros and calories, avoiding sugar and anything artificial, Intermittent fasting (IF), not eating breakfast or eliminating carbohydrates covering up the abundantly clear fact that you do not trust yourself around food?

If you have convinced yourself that you need rules and diets in order to look, feel and perform at your best then it is time to redirect this energy and hard work into developing trust with yourself. This trust will serve you in the long term by supporting you to create truly transformative change in your life. You can be healthy, fit and strong and still enjoy cake!

 

HABIT 5 -  YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR FOOD

When you have a healthy relationship with food you are thankful for it. You might take food for granted and in certain parts of the world you would be forgiven for doing. However, it is important never to forget that some 795 million people in the world do not have enough food to lead a healthy active life. That's about one in nine people on earth. (Source:State of Food Insecurity in the World, FAO, 2015).

 

HABIT 6 - YOU EAT INTUITIVELY & MINDFULLY

People who have a good relationship with food understand their body and responds to its need without conscious reasoning - intuitively. You eat when you are hungry, when the body silently whispers “its time to fuel up missy, feed me”.

And when you do eat you eat mindfully, aware of the taste, textures an flavours – cherishing and celebrating every bite! I know the temptation to race through your meal or snack can be tempting but wouldn’t you rather check in with your body and actually experience your food?

 

HABIT 7 - YOU UNDERSTAND THE MULTIPLE ROLES FOOD PLAYS IN YOUR LIFE

What do you expect your food to do for you? Fuel, perform, pleasure, manage weight? Food plays a multitude of roles! However, people who have an unhealthy relationship with food place too much emphasis on just one and as a result miss out on so mich of what food has to offer our lives. Food is designed to enhance our life and how we chose to live it, it should never take away from it.

 

HABIT 8 - YOU HONOUR YOUR BODY

People who have a good relationship with food understand that certain foods, chemicals, and substances can work against them in all areas of life. A person who honours their body is sure to put into their body things that will make them feel good . They will not use food as a crutch to provide short term pleasure.  This is why a person who has a good relationship with food will eat more nutritious, wholesome food then they do bad.   

These are just a few of the many habits that a person who has a good relationshop with food have. So let me ask you a question, what role does food play in your life and what habits are you building in order to create a positive and healthy relationship? 

I do not want to be remembered as someone who spent more time thinking about food then she did enjoying it nor do I want to be remembered as some one who was constantly at war with her body. How I feel about my body and food will not control my life or how happy I am in anymore.

If you do have a negative and unhealthy relationship with food the problem is not actually food, it's how you think about food. The problem is not your body, it's that we live in a culture that has convinced you your body is broken. The problem is that we are surrounded by self selected experts who think that they are promoting health, fitness and positive relationships but are really just spewing out utter gibberish. 

I am enjoying my journey and every effort I relationship to release myself of the negative feelings associated with food any my body. For me the most important piece was understanding that life is a very big picture - If I can not balance my thoughts about food, exercise and my body with other parts of my life then I have a bigger problems then the size of my belly! 

Breaking Mindfulness

If you are curious about mindfulness, if you want to understand a little bit more about how it can help you or if you are "living in your head" and would like take the first step to reconnecting with the moment then... join the effin club! 

 

This article is about my mindfulness journey and how I have broken a self imposed stigma to embrace what I now believe to be one of most significant tools in my life coaching and personal development tool kit.

You see, for a long time I was too scared to pursue mindfulness seriously because, if I’m honest, I didn’t want to be known as a "hippy" or "spiritual" either in my personal life or professional practice (but especially my coaching practice). I took great pride in the areas of science that have positively impacted my coaching practice – positive psychology, neuro science and experiential learning. 

As a result of the above mentioned pride (stubbornness) I was incredibly slow to open my mind to the growing field of research supporting mindfulness and mindfulness meditation. But the benefits of mindfulness kept popping up in my daily browsing and reading.

Then one day an unsuspecting client told me that he practices mindfulness and it has helped him, A LOT.  This guy was a managing director of an incredibly successful company. It was time that I took notice. 

 

I judged mindfulness before I even gave it a chance. 

 

My first step was downloading Headspace, which was not what I was expecting. Andy Puddicombe's voice was not what I was expecting. Mindfulness 1, Sarah 0.

I learned could be mindful without sitting cross legged or staring in to a crystal ball.

My mind was blown! 

For the 18 months after my client told me about his mindfulness practice I began to informally use it as a tool to manage my own stress and anxiety. Even just a little bit was a massive help and I found the idea of focusing on my breath extremely rewarding and very therapeutic. 

I really liked breathing! I discovered that it was also a great way to relax and stay alive all at the same time.

But I knew I was only scratching the surface. I felt that it was time I learned more, not just for my clients and business but for myself too. I completed a course in the in the professional use of mindfulness. If I thought my mind was blown after listening to Headspace for the first time then this course was an explosion of science, insights, inspiration and empowerment. Mindfulness 2, Sarah 0. 

 

A leading author in the field of mindfulness, Jon Kabat Zin, defined mindfulness as "paying attention in a particular way, in the present moment, and non judgmentally".

 

In other words mindfulness is being aware of whatever arises in your mind and body, sensations, feelings and thoughts. It's not about trying to change anything but non-judgmentally and gently accepting it as it is.

But for those of you just starting your journey I would encourage you to keep things simple - mindfulness is about learning to manage your attention, usually with a focus on keeping it in the present moment.

You might not have realised it but in actual fact you are mindful for about 45% of your day as you focus intently on certain tasks. Have you ever wondered why for so many of us the gym is our sanctuary?

There are two type of mindfulness: formal and informal. Formal practice can take up to 30 minutes a day and involves taking time to do some form of meditation. Informal practice involves brining mindfulness into your daily life. 

Since setting up The BLP my life got pretty hectic and most of the time I didn't even have time for my usual stress busters like the gym or hanging out with friends.

Is it any wonder wonder that so many of us suffer from increasing levels of stress and anxiety! Our business, our family and our life can demand so much of our time, effort and energy.

 

Mindfulness taught me how to effectively manage my emotional state in much shorter periods of time.

 

In todays world we are compelled to remain switched on because any other way is perceived by us as a waste of time and inefficient. We have to always be doing something, even if that something is digging us deeper and deeper into a rut.

We can rarely (and I mean rarely) control what happens to us but there are things that we can control and that is how we react and respond to negative events - negative events that usually lead to negative feelings like stress or anxiety. We can let these stressors break us or we can seek relief in knowing that we have a trusty coping mechanism.

All events that occur in our life are neutral until we place a value on them. We decide how something will make us feel, whether we will get angry, stressed, upset or anxious. But we need mindfulness in order to help us place a value on it that is in line with the life that we want to lead. 

During my course the facilitator helped us understand that "we are the thinker of our thoughts, we are not our thoughts." Sometimes when we become stressed, anxious or overly contemplative/analytical we think irrationally about some things and allow those thoughts to become intrinsically linked to our identity.

We believe we become our thoughts and when this happens our head and our body are no longer in the same place. We have lost our connection with the present. 

Remembering that "we are the thinker of our thoughts, we are not our thoughts", combined with the understanding that all events in life are neutral has been one of the most transformative learning of my both my personal and professional life so far. In other words, mindfulness was kicking my ass and I was loving it! 

 

Bring your head back to where your body is at. 

 

Research sugests that we think anywhere from 60,000 - 350,000 thoughts a day. We become consumed with events that anchor us to our past and we obsess and worry over events in the future that may never happen. Our bodies and heads are constantly in two different places. It is mindfulness that can help bring your head back to where our body is at.

Imagine that you are standing in the middle of Times Square - mindfulness is NOT about trying to stop the traffic, it's about stepping back and letting the cars pass, acknowledging that they are there and not trying to control them. 

When I first practiced mindfulness (informally) I assumed that thinking meant I was doing it wrong. I believed that I had to control my breath and the flittering of thoughts passing through my mind.  I didn't know how to go from mind FULL to MINDFUL.

 

I treated the voices in my mind as something that needed to be fixed.

 

But mindfulness actually involves treating these voices with kindness and acceptance (this is the non judemental piece). We should not try change or manipulate these thoughts. 

I learned that our thoughts are like trains and without realising it we jump from train to train because that’s what we are use to. We get lost in and consumed by these “trains of thought”. Our full and cluttered mind - the millions of trains of thoughts - results in stress, anxiety and confusions. 

Mindfulness will empower you to notice the train without getting on the train. 

 

The aim of mindfulness is to enrich and enlighten our emotional response and cultivate thoughts that are more insightful

 

The aim of mindfulness is to not only quieten the chattering monkeys in our mind but also to enrich and enlighten our emotional response and cultivate thoughts that are more insightful. 

The evidence is now overwhelming that mindfulness is effective in treating depression, anxiety and stress related conditions. The fact that millions of people use it in every day life without really knowing they are attests to its overwhelming value. 

Anyone first coming to meditation can be met with a crazy amount of advice. I still am but I always try to keep it simple.

My first recommendation is to always start your mindfulness journey by downloading either the the Head Space or My Calm Beat App for your smart phone. If you are unable to do this then head out for a 10 minute walk with no phone, music or distraction and concentrate on your 5 senses - sight, smell, taste, touch and sound. 

We are different so what work for me might not work for you! This is OK!

The best way is to try a few different things out and use what works for you!

My second recommendation is to be patient.

It's alright if you are crap at the beginning, mindfulness is a practice and it will take time - years - to fully connect with it. But you wouldn't give up on the gym because you cant squat 100kg in the first session so why would you give up on mindfulness because because you don't get it the first time round. 

The Secret to (My) Success

Success is a completely unique experience and something that we can (and should) define for ourselves. 

Last Thursday (5th November) I was absolutely tickled pink to be announced as the best newcomer in the Inner City Enterprise Awards. 

I had a dream to become a kick ass life coaching ninja. I wanted to be the facilitator of dreams and a beacon of body (and face) confidence for women across the beautiful Emerald Isle (and beyond). 

But how do you turn your dream into a reality? How can you create success in your own life? 

Quite often you will hear me say “the only difference between people who succeed and people who don’t is that successful people will always stand back up again”.

 

Head up and heels in has been my motto for the last 12+ months.

 

But what does this mean?

Success is made up of parts but funnily enough you might never know  exactly what it was that made you successful.

It will never be just one thing.

I am extremely passionate about coaching people. I live and breathe the stuff!

Through the bad months when I earned less then a few hundred €100 and the times where my inbox stayed empty, I remained persistant. I never gave up! Even when things started to go well I never gave up. I never rested on my laurels.

I knew it would take time to create something truly amazing. I was very patient. 

I took small steps every day and I created habits that would later become a very powerful foundation. 

So, what do you see when you take a closer look at success?

 

Because when I look closely I see passion, persistance and a hell of a lot of patience. 

 

But you will never know which one made the difference because you will always need all three in your life.

It's important to remember this when you are working on yourself, your business, your relationships or your mental, physical and spiritual health. 

In every part of your life you must always remember to be passionate, persistant and patient.

I see many of my clients become frustrated because it doesn’t happen fast enough or because the process is painful or too hard. 

Whether you are pursuing happiness or a job promotion the principle remains the same.

Passion. Persistence. Patience. 

The secret to success is that there is no secret. 

The secret to my success is that I just haven't given up yet. 

And I don’t plan on it. 

Award or no award, I feel my success in my bones. 

But what would YOU do if you won?

And what would you do if you lost? 

What would you remember?

 

Things that happen to us or around us are neuTral.

 

In other words, events that take place in our life are neutral until we place a value on it.

This is what I remember from last night when I won the Inner City Enterprise Best Newcomer 2015.

I remember the "S" of my name announced and thinking…. WOW!

I remember James yelling when he heard my name being called.

I remember my mom pushing her way over to me to give me a hug, bursting with pride.

I remember dad sounding giddy when I told him over the phone. 

I remember my little sister sharing the news all over Facebook ("Very, very proud of this one Sarah Doyle for just being her …")  and my older sister calling me a split second after she heard the news. 

I remember thinking that I didn't need this award to validate my success or my experience with my business but feeling extremely privileged to have even been considered, let alone winning.

I remember feeling that there is no greater feeling than pride, especially when you can create it for yourself.

On James facebook page he quoted Arnie.... 

 

 "The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer." 

 

In other words, the meaning of life is to create a life that is meaningful to you!

Do one thing today that will bring your life meaning. And if you ever need my help, just send me an email to hello@thebetterlifeproject.ie and I would be honoured (super super stoked) to work with you :) 

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