Reframe FAILURE!

Do you see FAILURE as a bad thing?  Well, it is time that we REFRAME FAILURE!

Failure can be defined as

“The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends: the failure of an experiment. One that fails: a failure at one's career. The condition or fact of being insufficient or falling short: a crop failure. A cessation of proper functioning or performance: a power failure. Non-performance of what is requested or expected; omission”

Do you want to know what I think?

I think failure sucks! It’s DISAPPOINTING, DISHEARTENING... Sometimes it can be a really fekin’ rude awakening. BUT to me failure means you TRIED! 

Failure means you got up off your ass and WENT AFTER SOMETHING! 

Failure means that YOU CARE and that you want something BAD ENOUGH to take that “risk”. 

Failure means that you are LEARNING.

I would rather fail at something, then never to have tried it at all. 

This is me (Sarah) after I "failed" a 110kg high bar back squat. Gutted! But the fire burns in my belly more than ever!

Mr. Bastardo

I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Mr. Bastardo. Mr Bastardo, also known as FEAR, is a close pal of mine!

Mr. Bastardo paralysed my self-belief, confidence and ability to ACT!! 

Mr. Bastardo made me fear CHANGE, FAILURE, JUDGEMENT and LOSING CONTROL. 

Mr. Bastardo makes me think that my dreams were too big and that my life was just FINE. He made being lazy, procrastinating and half assing seem OK! Wanker!

WANKER!

But I still had a dream and it was a HUGE dream!! God it was awesome - talked about it all the time - it was butterflies in the pit of your stomach, hairs on your arms stand up at once kinda dream!!! But that's all it was... A dream! And it's all I ever THOUGHT it was going to be. Mr. Bastardo stopped me believing that my dream could be a reality.

Then one day the fear of not doing something became greater than Mr. Bastardo himself. The thought of doing something made me freak out, but the thought of not doing it made me freak out even more!

So I've started taking the first step towards achieving my dream and I'm so terrified and excited but I'd like to share these steps with you....

Step 1: Name you fear. My fear is called Mr. Bastardo and he represents change, failure, judgement and losing control. 

What is you fear called? Give it a name like Voldemort, Dark Vader or Percy! Be honest about what fear means to you! 

Step 2: Do you remember when I spoke about goals, and identifying a support network? Well a dream should be approached in the same way - talk about your dream with the people around you and it will feel more real!

Do you find it difficult to talk about your dream? Well, what would you do if you won the lotto? Talk about your dream from the angle (that’s how mine started!). 

Step 3: The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Kick Mr. Bastardo’s ass by breaking your dream down into smaller chunks. Things will appear far less daunting this way!

Step 4: I read a fantastic article (linked in the comments section below) that suggests people may always carry a part of their past labels, disability or diagnosis with them - “Don’t become your disability or your diagnosis”. It’s not just these past labels, disabilities or diagnosis that haunts us but also people's current expectations of us, and their familiarity with who they think we are. 

We are so afraid of doing something different! We need to LET GO!

Mr. Bastardo latches on to every part of us! He is an awful divil for that! He makes us think we don't have it in us to chase our dream! 

But Sometimes chasing a dream requires us to do things a little differently (sounds familiar?). And guess what? This means that you might need to behave a little differently too!! After kicking Mr. Bastardo’s ass, you will not come out the other side the same. This is, and should be expected!

Step 5: Find meaning and purpose in each step you take and take these steps for you and you only! If you are not at least 90% confident you can achieve it then break the steps down even further. Confidence is key!

It's this fear that prevents so many of us moving forward, from becoming truly happy and moving in the direction of our dream! In summary (who doesn't love a good summary!):

Step 1: Name your fear! Step 2: Talk about your dreams - it will make them feel more real! Step 3: Break your dream into chunks. Step 4: Let go! Step 5: Find purpose and meaning with every step you take.

Peace out!

Ever Feel Like You're Not Good Enough?

worried

One thing that is DEFINITELY not a secret is that a lot of girls struggle with body image. A crippling inability to stop comparing themselves to others, and the way they think they SHOULD look.

The other day a friend of mine asked;

“Do you have any TIPS Sarah, you look amazing… I want to know your SECRET”.

Jaysus, that was lovely to hear!

It was so nice, that I really did want to share my secret; the only problem was I didn’t know if I had one!

I have good days, bad days and days that are just days!

So I had to think about it…

STILL THINKING….

Then….

It hit me like a tonne of bricks.

I DEFINITELY DIDN’T HAVE A SECRET!

I just have three little things that I like doing, and that work for me.

They work for me because of my story. But I think my story is fairly generic so maybe they will work for you too!

Here are my little secrets;

1. Lift weights 2. Eat REAL food 3. Have fun with 1 and 2!!!

Like all stories, there is a beginning, a middle and an end.

So here’s MY story (well not the end because I don’t know what that is yet).

THE BEGINNING It all started when I was born with big bones!!

I was about 11 when I started to feel uncomfortable in my skin. Everyone around me was super skinny and babe-a-licous and I felt like I looked like I ate all the pies.

I couldn’t understand why I looked this way and the people around me looked another way!

When I was 11, I was too young or immature to truly understand the massive role of acceptance and mothers. My mum used to sit me in front of the mirror and encourage me to say “I love you Sarah” (ok, I know… bear with me… I’ll explain now…)

The cheesiness and embarrassment of it made me want to gag but my mum was trying hard to cultivate a sense of CONFIDENCE and ACCEPTANCE. I needed this so, I could accept myself as I am– no comparisons, no judgement’s. Just me, myself and I.

On top of this I also had a rather tricky relationship with food.

I took out all my anger, rage, and frustration on food!

I also celebrated, loved and shared so many memories with and around food.

But food was not the problem. The problem was my relationship with food.

In summary (not that this story is very long and needs to be summarised, but I like summaries), the beginning was made up of;

• Big bones • Babe-a-licous babes and lack of self-esteem • A tumultuous love affair with food

The beginning was basically where it all went wrong and the middle was where things started to go right, and that only happened recently.

THE MIDDLE I learned all MY secrets in the middle of MY story!

At my heaviest I was 85kg, and at my lightest I was 75kg.

I gave up on the scales a long time ago (and I recommend you do the same, they have an evil partner in crime “diet monsters”, and they do nothing to help build your self esteem).

It is fair to say that in the last 2 and a half years my body shape changed and I lost some weight.

I spent the beginning of my story trying to lose weight and when it finally happened…

***I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE***

… Upon reflection it comes as no surprise that I didn’t notice the weight loss – because I was enjoying myself and focusing my energies elsewhere.

The reason why I squat (or just plain exercise) is because it’s fun. I found a gym that I love and something that I loved doing, something that gets me out of bed at 5.30am on a cold miserable winter’s day.

That’s how I learned about tip number 1; lift weights. And tip number 3; have fun!

I also began to eat differently – eliminating a lot of processed food and eating more real food.

I developed a real passion for cooking. I enjoy preparing my own food, cooking from scratch and seeing what happens. I love exploring new tastes and trying new things.

It’s true what they say – abs are not made in the gym, they are made in the kitchen, but your head holds the key to unlocking this ability to succeed.

It took me a while to get used to my new body shape and I slowly became quite nervous that the weight would come back! This is where the villain entered my story!

I stopped having fun!

The evil diet monsters sucked me into their world! I did them all – Paleo, Atkins, Zoning, detoxes, Cabbage soup diet, Grapefruit diet, Intermittent fasting, calorie deficit, Whole 30, eat too little, and exercise too much!

Do you want to know the strange thing though! I didn’t lose any weight with these diet monsters so why did I feel pressure to ascribe to them? For me, these diets were too restrictive! There were too many rules and I created a moral framework where food was either “ good” or “evil”. For me there was no balance and there was no fun.

I lost weight because I stopped eating crap that was processed within an inch of its life and I continued to exercise.

I learned the importance of respecting what you put in your body, but not obsessing over it.

Some of the best meals I have ever tasted are the ones I have prepared for myself. The time I spend in the kitchen is sometimes my most enjoyable.

I started having fun again.

I eat “real food”, but yes I occasionally eat chips, and scones with jam and butter. I do not punish myself for eating this way. I do not ascribe to any one diet but I am inspired by them all!

The middle part of my story was the most challenging in so many ways.

And it afforded me the most opportunity to learn about myself and grow into the person that I want to be. Not who society, the latest craze, fad or ideal has deemed “sexy”.

So in summary (God Bless summaries): • The easy part was losing weight. • The hard part was trying to manage the emotional aftermath. • I did every diet under the sun and the only diet that ever worked for me was eating “real food” (ie not a diet at all). • If you want a scone, eat the scone. Be ok with the decision. Make a better decision next time.

THE END Ummm… Well the end of MY story is still being written isn’t it!?

But this IS the end part of my “secret tips” story… I’m still eating real food, lifting weights and having heaps of fun.

You need to find what is right for you, to listen to and respect your body.

The most important thing I learned is to HAVE FUN!!

If you stop having fun, what the hell is it all worth?

Because I believe so passionately that every woman deserves to be happy with who she is, and what she looks like, I'd like to invite you to some free online training so that you can start to work through all the bullshit stories you tell yourself about why you're not good enough.

If you're finally ready to be a happier version of you, comfortable in your own skin, click on this link here to reserve your spot on our "Are You Good Enough?" webinar.

The BLP Goals Programme Webinar

A few weeks ago the BLP hosted its first ever webinar live from our living room. Exciting! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19acOpeHcnU

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It was a little strange talking to a computer… with mine and James face staring back at us. Nevertheless, it was great that so many people were on board with us and we are looking forward to hosting many more.

Goals play a huge part our lives! According to psychologists “Picking one, two, or three significant goals that are meaningful to you and devoting time and effort to pursuing them” will greatly increase your happiness.  

Nevertheless, at the BLP we realise that sometimes people need a little help mapping out their goals so we were excited to talk about the BLP Goals Programme and the BLP 10 x 10 in this webinar.

I have highlighted some of the main points here, but I would encourage you to have a listen and don’t hesitate to get in touch if you need to :-)

Main Points

If you want to run 10km, get abs or lean arms you go to the gym and follow a dedicated training programme. You diligently follow the programme and slowly but surely you start seeing the results you want. WHY SHOULD A GOAL OUTSIDE OF THE GYM BE ANY DIFFERENT?

• The BLP goals programme will give you the structure that you need to achieve life goals. It includes naming your goal, establishing a start point, an end point, and so much more!
• The BLP Goals Programme gets you to identify milestones and tasks so that you can measure your progress, and understand what you need to do to move you in the right direction.
• The BLP 10x10 is a mind-set checklist! You need to be in the right head space when you are pursuing a goal and the BLP 10x10 helps break it all down.

How committed are you to achieving what you want, and how much do you believe that you can do it?

How do you tell a 15 year old year girl that it’s OK for her to love herself?

Well...you don't! You have to show her.

I used to be 15! So, here is the story I would tell her...

Dear 15 year old Sarah,

You think you are fat... Well you are NOT! But I think you are so deep into the fog that you can’t hear me, can you?Jaysus, I’m just exhausted even thinking about you at this age again. You just never gave yourself a break did you? There was always something wrong, always something that needed improving, always something that needed to change to be more like HER ...who is SHE anyway?

SHE is such a pile of steaming dog poo. But SHE has completely got you in her grasp...

Why does it matter so much what SHE thinks anyway?

I don't want to belittle your feelings in any way but you have such a narrow understanding of what life is all about at 15.

Nevertheless, you understand what is in front of you, or at least you are trying to.

You are trying really hard to grow up in an image obsessed world. Everywhere you turn there are skinny models on magazine covers, girls the same age as you in bikinis with flat bellies (I remember this one bothers you the most), girls with boyfriends who seemed so happy and "oh look at me, I have flat tummy AND a boyfriend".

There are girls on the TV (Do you remember Blossom and how gorgeous you thought she was... well she went on to do her PhD ya know!) and girls in school who just seem to have it all. Not to mention your sisters who were more beautiful than supermodels ... and had really flat tummies.

So, yes its hard Sarah but if you just listened to Mammy Dearest when she sat you in front of the mirror that time...

I know I know, SHE wouldn’t let you.

Mammy dearest really just wanted to hear you say that you liked something about yourself, and really mean it. Mammy dearest knew how important that would be later in life...

But let me tell you fat is the easy part. Fat is just how we look on the outside. Fat is just how we perceive our body and it is just a label that we have given ourselves because everyone has labels and we needed to fit in some way.

What are you really chasing Sarah?

I think you really just wanted to feel like you belong, don't you Sarah?

Acceptance.

Adoration.

Love.

Happiness.

Peace.

Skinny is NOT going to give you these feelings. You clung to this goal with innocence and misdirection and you thought by aspiring to an ideal created by society that this ideal was right for you.

And instead of bringing you acceptance it brought you pain because you were never meant to be the sort of person that society said was perfect. You were only ever meant to be the sort of person that you are now.

I know SHE is telling you the exact opposite though. SHE trying to convince you that you will be much happier when you are a few pounds lighter and it doesn't matter what you have to do to get there.

I know SHE has you almost convinced that no one boy will ever like you (but jasysus wait until you see your fella now...).

I know SHE has you convinced that we are all supposed to look the same and when you get there it’s like this magic room will open up and you can finally be one of the happy people.

But if I am really honest. SHE is wrong. SHE is so completely wrong.

You are 15. You are allowed to grow up and feel conflicted and struggle with your identify. You are allowed to have a think about going on a diet but don't do it because SHE says so!

When we are 15 we are supposed to and allowed to develop and mature naturally and no one ever said this would be easy.

But SHE makes it worse. SHE makes it soo much harder than it has to be because SHE is constantly in your ear! You need to lose one more pound, fatty! You want the size 10, not the 12! It doesn't matter how much you want that chocolate, you can’t let people see you eat that. He clearly doesn't like you because you are basically the size of a beached whale.

So, let’s tell her to piss off!

But I can’t because SHE is a part of me, I hear you say.

SHE is always in my head.

The steaming pile of poo represent all that is wrong in this image obsessed world and once she has got you in her grasp it is so hard to let her go.

So instead of letting go... I challenge you my 15 year old self TO TAKE SOMETHING UP.

What do you like about yourself? It can be something on the outside and something on the inside. You can start small if you like because, yeh, it can be hard to actually say something you love about yourself.

So, just start with something and build on this. Say three things that you like about yourself ... every day.

Keep going until you can’t hear her anymore.

Get Motivated

Do you find it difficult to peel yourself off the couch or get out of bed and head to the gym?  You are sitting for hours trying to convince yourself to move… but nothing happens! 

By the time you do get up, there are things you have to get done and time has just run out. You start to feel guilty, and the cycle just perpetuates itself. 

Here are a few things that I think about every day, to help motivate my mind and body. I hope it might work for you too!

• Motivation for your mind: Why do you want to go the gym? Do you want to feel healthy, strong, sexy, toned and muscular… what is your reason?We all want to feel something, so what is it that you want? When you know what you want, set yourself a goal that will help you achieve this. 

• Set a goal: Setting goals gives our mind something to focus on. It provides direction and purpose. Make sure that your gym goal is something that is important to you and stick with it. Your goal could be to go to the gym three times a week, or your goal could be to run a marathon in less than 4 hours. Whatever your goal is, name it! Be specific! Remember, it is your goal that will be your tool to help you feel healthy, strong, sexy, toned and muscular. 

• Find something that is fun: Health and fitness goals are not meant to make you feel guilty or bad about yourself! They are suppose to be fun! There are countless ways that you can achieve your goals so find something that you like doing and find some people to do it with. Set a date and go for it  I always train in a class or with people, it's always way more fun for me 

• Stronger people are harder to kill: I remember Mr. Hanley saying this to me once. Asides form the countless health benefit s of exercise (duh)… I reckon my chances of outrunning a charging rhinoceros are pretty strong (but let’s hope that doesn't happen).
• Being strong is empowering: I don’t know how many times I have picked up boxes, suitcases and bags with ease. Strangers have approached me kindly offering their assistance and I’m able to say, as proud as punch, that I’m doing fine. I can pull, push, squat and clean my own body weight and the feeling of being able to do this is incredible. If you asked me three years ago to to do any of these things I would have laughed in your face! 

YOU CAN DO IT! What's stopping you from starting today?

I Had a Really Feckin BAD DAY!!

I wanted to talk a little more about bad days! 

We all have them!

They suck bum!

Today I had a bad that would make the arse of a jockeys horse look like it had been caressed by a feather!

I gave up. I lost control. I stopped thinking. I became anxious. I was thrown off kilter and became a mere shell of a woman! 

Is there anything that you do to help you cope when you have a bad day?

On bad days the first thing I always feel like doing is escaping, but life is such that this is never an option.

Anyway, escaping is only great in theory! In practice, I know I would feel like a turd.

On bad days I also need some Sarah time in order to work through what has happened. If this means I print emails, talk to the wall or make lists than that's what I do. 

I find a quiet space or I put on my headphones and I get cracking. I breathe deep, and focus my mind on what I need to do and I get to it. I know I will not feel calm until I have regained clarity and control.

I need to feel like I can get some control back. 

On bad days I eat what I want! My day is bad enough, I am not going to deprive myself of a biscuit just because it's not in line with my overall eating goals. 

One (two) biscuit(s) is not going to make me fat or kill me! But in that moment it calms me and affords me a little distraction. I don't need or want the whole packet of biscuits, I learned only recently that food does not fix the problem!

On bad days I talk to people! When I am good and ready, I talk about what happened with my family or friends (wall, pet fish, shower curtain... I like to talk!!). 

Talking is good, It's the main reason a bad day is a day and not a week, a month or a year.

All in, I ride the 'bad day' wave because I know and work really hard in order to pick myself up again. I trust my coping mechanism, it works for me and hasn't failed me yet. 

I know my bad day would have been a lot less mental if I had more confidence in my ability, and believed in myself more. This is definitely something that I am going to work on. In the long term, I know this will be worth it!

But I hope you feel the same too? I hope that you are aware of what your "bad day coping mechanism" is - because a bad day will just be a bad day when we come to understand the steps we need to take to manage ourselves and our environment. 

A bad day in work does not equal a bad job. A bad day with the the other half does not equal a bad relationship. A bad day in the gym does not mean you are not strong, fit or making process. 

A bad day is just....A BAD DAY! We have to move forward... 

In summary (ooohh haven't done one of these in a while...) 

- I face the problem because putting off until tomorrow what you can do today is bonkers!  - I regain clarity and control by getting organised - I enjoy a nice biscuit or two - I learn what I can in order in order to build my confidence  - I keep my bloody head up!

Say goodbye to the COMFORT ZONE

Have you ever wanted something but lacked the courage to take that first step? Have I mentioned that I LOVE to squat? I don't talk about them very often, so you might have missed it! 

My goal is to squat double weight. Its like a big fire in my belly. BELLY FIRE! I'm sitting on a nice 112kg so I have A LOT of work to do and this won't happen for a few years but it's belly fire and everyone know belly fire is unstoppable!

I want at least a 120kg squat by December, but what am I prepared to do to reach this milestone? 

I have to start doing something differently. 

I have to say good bye to the comfort zone and start to work .... REALLY WORK FOR IT! But I like my comfort zone. It feels safe and familiar so deciding what to do with this belly fire was tough.

Mr.Hanley has been in my ear for months about what I need to do, but I lacked the courage up until now!

I have the stupidest shoulders in the world and this takes time to improve (apparently I even need to mobilise outside of the gym!!!!).

I have to work longer and harder!

I have to rest more! 

I have to watch what I eat because recovery will be very important.

I have to make sacrifices (will I lose my pull ups?)

How hard am I prepared to work for it? How badly do I want this? 

Do I want to look back on my life in 20 years time and go "I remember that time I wanted something really badly but only ever talked about it" or will I look back in my life in 20 years and go "I remember what its like to want something really badly and fight for it".

I made a decision! 

I've taken a break from beloved gym and today was my first day of The Smolov Base Mesocylce. Smolov is a squat specialisation cycle, so four times a week I will be squattin! 

Jaysus, on day 1 I already felt like I was being chased down Knockturn Alley by Dementors! 

But it didn't matter because I have a belly fire ... Some day I will squat double weight!

It doesn't matter what your goal is! Whether you want to lift for the first time, lift heavier or just try a different movement, stepping away from your comfort zone is hard....

Just take that first step.

My Secret Tips Story

My Secret Tips Story

SKWAT

The other day a friend of mine asked;

“Do you have any TIPS Sarah, you look amazing… I want to know your SECRET”.

Jaysus, that was lovely to hear!

It was so nice, that I really did want to share my secret; the only problem was I didn’t know if I had one!

I have good days, bad days and days that are just days!

So I had to think about it…

STILL THINKING….

Then….

It hit me like a tonne of bricks.

I DEFINITELY DIDN’T HAVE A SECRET!

I just have three little things that I like doing, and that work for me.

They work for me because of my story. But I think my story is fairly generic so maybe they will work for you too!

Here are my little secrets;

1. Lift weights

2. Eat REAL food

3. Have fun with 1 and 2!!!

Like all stories, there is a beginning, a middle and an end.

So here’s MY story (well not the end because I don’t know what that is yet).

 

The Beginning

It all started when I was born with big bones!!

I was about 11 when I started to feel uncomfortable in my skin. Everyone around me was super skinny and babe-a-licous and I felt like I looked like I ate all the pies.

I couldn’t understand why I looked this way and the people around me looked another way!

When I was 11, I was too young or immature to truly understand the massive role of acceptance and mothers. My mum used to sit me in front of the mirror and encourage me to say “I love you Sarah” (ok, I know… bear with me… I’ll explain now…)

The cheesiness and embarrassment of it made me want to gag but my mum was trying hard to cultivate a sense of CONFIDENCE and ACCEPTANCE. I needed this so I could accept myself as I am– no comparisons, no judgement’s, just me, myself and I.

On top of this I also had a rather tricky relationship with food.

I took out all my anger, rage, and frustration on food!

I also celebrated, loved and shared so many memories with and around food.

But food was not the problem. The problem was my relationship with food. 

In summary (not that this story is very long and needs to be summarised, but I like summaries), the beginning was made up of;

• Big bones

• Babe-a-licous babes and lack of self-esteem

• A tumultuous love affair with food

The beginning was basically where it all went wrong and the middle was where things started to go right, and that only happened recently.

The Middle

I learned all MY secrets in the middle of MY story!

At my heaviest I was 85kg, and at my lightest I was 75kg.

I gave up on the scales a long time ago (and I recommend you do the same, they have an evil partner in crime “diet monsters”, and they do nothing to help build your self esteem). 

It is fair to say that in the last 2 and a half years my body shape changed and I lost some weight.

I spent the beginning of my story trying to lose weight and when it finally happened…

***I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE***

Upon reflection it comes as no surprise that I didn't notice the weight loss – because I was enjoying myself and focusing my energies elsewhere.

The reason why I squat (or just plain exercise) is because it’s fun. I found a gym that I love and something that I loved doing, something that gets me out of bed at 5.30am on a cold miserable winter’s day.

That’s how I learned about tip number 1; lift weights. And tip number 3; have fun!

I also began to eat differently - eliminating a lot of processed food and eating more real food. 

I developed a real passion for cooking. I enjoy preparing my own food, cooking from scratch and seeing what happens. I love exploring new tastes and trying new things. 

It’s true what they say – abs are not made in the gym, they are made in the kitchen, but your head holds the key to unlocking this ability to succeed. 

It took me a while to get used to my new body shape and I slowly became quite nervous that the weight would come back! This is where the villain entered my story!

I stopped having fun!

The evil diet monsters sucked me into their world! I did them all – Paleo, Atkins, Zoning, detoxes, Cabbage soup diet, Grapefruit diet, Intermittent fasting, calorie deficit, Whole 30, eat too little, and exercise too much!

Do you want to know the strange thing though! I didn’t lose any weight with these diet monsters so why did I feel pressure to ascribe to them? For me, these diets were too restrictive! There were too many rules and I created a moral framework where food was either “ good” or “evil”. For me there was no balance and there was no fun. 

I lost weight because I stopped eating crap that was processed within an inch of its life and I continued to exercise.

I learned the importance of respecting what you put in your body, but not obsessing over it.

Some of the best meals I have ever tasted are the ones I have prepared for myself. The time I spend in the kitchen is sometimes my most enjoyable.

I started having fun again.

I eat “real food”, but yes I occasionally eat chips, and scones with jam and butter. I do not punish myself for eating this way. I do not ascribe to any one diet but I am inspired by them all!

The middle part of my story was the most challenging in so many ways.

And it afforded me the most opportunity to learn about myself and grow into the person that I want to be. Not who society, the latest craze, fad or ideal has deemed “sexy”.

So in summary (God Bless summaries):

• The easy part was losing weight.

• The hard part was trying to manage the emotional aftermath.

• I did every diet under the sun and the only diet that ever worked for me was eating “real food” (ie not a diet at all).

• If you want a scone, eat the scone. Be ok with the decision. Make a better decision next time.

The End

Ummm… Well the end of MY story is still being written isn’t it!?

But this IS the end part of my “secret tips” story… I’m still eating real food, lifting weights and having heaps of fun.

You need to find what is right for you, to listen to and respect your body. 

The most important thing I learned is to HAVE FUN!!

If you stop having fun, what the hell is it all worth!

100kg Squats, Chin Ups, and How To Get Things Done

So there are two things I want to talk to you about. They are 100kg squats and chin ups.

There is also stuff that happened in between, and I’d like to tell you about those things too!

First things first, Will is a coach in CrossFit Ireland and he pinned the tail right on the donkeys bottom when he asked the question; “Have you earned the right to complain?” He even wrote a short article about which I've linked to in the comment section below. You will hear me talk about earning the right to complain a lot in this spiel and this is where I got it.

So it starts with my chin-up ‘fantasy’! A chin up is when you hang from a bar and pull yourself up, palms facing towards you, so that you chin is over the bar. I love the idea of being able to lift my own body weight. For me it epitomises strength… moving your own body off the ground is such a great feeling.

I started to talk about my goal so it made it much more real, and I visualised the whole thing – chalk my hands, big jump, grab the bar and pull! So one day in the gym during a warm up, one of the coaches saw me doing a few assisted chin-ups and asked if I had tried and unassisted chin-up and I said no. So he got me to try and whilst I was close I didn’t quite get it. No worries he said, you’re very close. At the end of the class, when people were shuffling home the same coach called me over to the bar, told me to chalk up and try again.

The look in his eyes that time, I knew I was going to get it and you know what, I did! I did a chin up! I was so thrilled! The lesson here, I shared my goals with the right people, I was supported, someone believed in me, and most importantly I believed in myself. I had evidence that I could now do a chin up - it wasn’t a fantasy anymore, it was a reality.

Fast forward a year and I can just about do 3 chin ups!

HOWEVER, there is not one second that goes by that I don’t feel jealous when I see someone doing better, or progressing faster than me. I have a bar and bands at home. I also have million excuses for not practicing at the ready, and I’m very good at complaining. All I have to do is spend as much time practicing as I do feeling jealous or complaining, Jaysus I would be like superwomen on steroids if I did that. On my phone, as a constant reminder, I have the following quote “Don’t be upset by the results you didn’t get with the work you didn’t do”. I don’t work for the pull ups, so I have no right to complain.

Then there was a 100kg squat. If you don’t know what a squat is than I can’t help you. Everyone should squat, it will give you an arse you can crack an egg on!

I came home one day after successfully getting through a new 20 rep max back squat at about 65 kgs. It felt great, I always loved squatting! I told Mr. Hanley who said that soon enough I would be able to squat 100kg. Well talk about waving a red flag to a bull! I wanted that squat more than I wanted washboards abs, and I thought I worked pretty damn hard at it (the squat, not the abs).

I felt I was diligent, dedicated and committed to my goal. Last August, I had a go and after three failed attempts I called it quits and realised that it wasn’t going to happen. I’m not sure how many of you have ever had a 100kg resting on your back but its pretty god damn heavy. I knew I didn’t work hard enough. I was disappointed (very disappointed) but I didn’t complain (at least openly). It wasn’t enough to just go to the gym… I needed to do more. So, I did more!

I slept more, I ate better and I when I eventually did squat 100kg in October it felt AMAZING!

The lesson here is that the 100kg squat required me to make sacrifices, work on mobility, look after my body – do things differently than the way I did before.

The right to complain didn’t matter anymore because as long as I was chasing after my goal in the right way, there was never going to be a need to complain!

Fast forward a few months and I was about to test my squat again. I was feeling confident, I had a great plan and I was feeling confident (have I mentioned that already?). Things started well, the heavier my warm up reps got the lighter it felt. This is where it all went wrong!

I got greedy, and cocky and deviated from my plan. I made too big of a jump and missed the rep I wanted, and I was too tired to give it another go! I was so pissed off but I had no one to blame but myself. Designing a goal is an exciting process, but there are reasons we PLAN goals and that is to ensure their success. There is a difference between taking a risk, and being greedy, and I was greedy!

So there are a bunch of things that I learned that are really important. -Design your goal the right way -Talk about your goals -Identify a support network who will believe in you -Believe in yourself -Be honest with yourself, make sacrifices and work for what you want -Don’t get upset or jealous that others achieve what you have never worked for - just because something sounds cool to say, doesn’t mean you have the right to be good at it -Follow your plan

I know what I’m talking about is gym stuff but it applies to all aspects of life – a promotion in work, developing a better relationship with you partner, or starting a new project. It doesn’t matter if it is 100kg squat or a 50kg squat or a chin up or cart wheel. It’s requires a plan and hard work!!

It’s really easy to complain about stuff because the feeling that you have the right to complain can materialise in a million ways: you don’t practice, you work hard but not smart, you deviate from a plan or you get cocky. If you (and by you I mean me) would spend as much time practicing as you (again, me) do complaining we (me) would all be like superwomen on steroids.