3 Tips to Find Yourself When You’re Feeling Lost

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves."

~Henry David Thoreau

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Whether you’ve lost yourself in your job, relationship, your role as a parent or simply feel lost in life in general, you are not alone. It doesn’t mean your life is doomed and that you will never find yourself again. 


I have learned that every time I have felt lost, a shift is taking place in my life, a transformation is coming. I have been going through one of the biggest shifts in my life recently and it has taken all my strength to keep moving forward but the key to finding yourself is to keep moving forward... one step at a time. 

Here are 3 tips that will help find yourself again, and remind you of the power you have to create a life full of things you love. 


1. Do more of what you love.  

Do you remember the last time you had fun in your life? When was the last time you lost track of time, smiled or laughed? Do you remember when your routine meant you started saying no to happiness and joy?  

Doing what you love will help you to momentarily forget about your responsibilities and boring parts of life. It's time to make time for things that you love. That art class you have been putting off, sign up for it! The new gym class you want to take, do it! You have the control to create a life full of things that you love, so start now, start slow and take just one step a day.

My healer (more on that in tip number 3) has helped me to realise that its OK that I use my power and strength on me and for me, and not just on others. She has helped me to understand that its OK if minding myself and my own happiness is one of my priorities. 

2. Get quiet and listen. 

No matter how unwanted or hard it might be, introspection will help you. Listening to, and noticing your own thoughts will help you to connect with yourself again. When you are away from the noise of your regular routine you will start to experience the world with a different perspective. When you give yourself permission to just sit and listen you will gain clarity about who you are, where you are going and what you want. 

Don't be afraid of boredom. Boredom is the birthplace of creativity. It is how our minds rejuvenate. Just sit with yourself or if you are really struggling, use your copy of Be Your Own Best Friend to help focus your thoughts in a healthy way.  

3. Ask for help. 

You don’t have to figure this out all on your own and sometimes having a chat with someone can provide the insight you need. I have always found that I get stuck in my own head and for me, the best way to get unstuck is to ask for help. I have recently started seeing a Reiki healer and therapist; just talking, decompressing and feeling minded has made such a massive difference to me. 

It's OK to feel lost and with these three tips as your starting point, you will find yourself again. I promise!


Sarah Doyle is a life coach, a speaker, the creator or L-School and The Empowered Women Workshops, the founder of The Better Life Project and author of Be Your Own Best Friend. Sarah works with women all over the world to help them achieve their personal and professional goals, whilst developing their confidence and self-esteem.

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