Has anyone ever made you feel like you’re not good enough? A terrible boss, an unsupportive boyfriend, challenging parents, your friends or even yourself? Are you constantly beating yourself up and thinking that somehow you should be more, do more or be better?
Our inner critic knows how pack a serious punch, doesn’t she? When I was leaving my old job in Trinity, I thought I would leave the days of feeling like a fraud - not good enough - behind me. I was wrong!
Sometimes I STILL feel not good enough to do what I love but I am getting much better at managing it.
The difference between now and then is that I give the thought of "not good enough" less power over me.
I don't focus on it ... I let it flutter past and wash over me. I know life isn't perfect and sometimes good enough, is enough!
Here are 3 things to remember when you think you're not good enough
1. You are unique
I think this is my favourite; it comforts and soothes me when I am feeling not good enough. The pressure of perfect and to be the best can feel overwhelming. However, I am forever reminding myself that I am, just like you, made up of a combination of strengths, talents, flaws, qualities and skills that makes me unique.
You don't need to be like everyone else. Who you are, right this very second, is enough.
If we were all supposed to be the same, we would!
2. There is more right with you than wrong with you.
As someone who used to spend more time thinking about all the things that I didn't like about myself, it helps to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too; like my grit and optimism.
To accept yourself means to embrace the good and the bad.
Having a healthy sense of self-esteem means we have a strong sense of self-worth. It means we can understand and accept our weaknesses and celebrate and appreciate our strengths. When we have healthy self-esteem, we can recognise the inherent value in all people, including our self.
For me, positive reflection using Be Your Own Best Friend has made a real impact on my self-esteem. It has helped me learn about myself, and discover self-kindness, compassion and the power of positive thinking.
3. You can't hate yourself into accepting yourself.
Beating yourself up every time you make a mistake won't actually inspire you to stop making mistakes. Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make someone fall in love with you.
The only way to achieve self-acceptance is to accept yourself.
You are, and always have been, enough just as you are. There is no bench mark or rule book. There is no secret code or magic ingredient. You are valuable simply because you are YOU.
Sarah is a life coach and motivational speaker. As the co-founder of The Better Life Project and creator of L-School, she’s the “go to” life coach for anyone feeling stuck in a rut, lacking in confidence or struggling with low self-esteem or body image. Sarah offers life coaching and mentoring services and works with clients in person in Dublin, Ireland and over Skype around the world.