Have you ever felt a lack of self confidence hold you back in life? Are you nervous about recording videos on SnapChat, starting your first blog, publishing your first ever YouTube video, offering an opinion in work or telling him or her what you want to do tonight (instead of always doing what they say).
The good news is your self-confidence works just like a muscle – it grows the more you use it and will get better with time.
Confidence plays such a massive role in our ability to function at or above our potential. So, we need to understand what it is and how we can develop this skill – a skill that will enable us to live life to our potential.
Confidence refers to how we feel about our abilities, people and future but did you know that there are two different types of self confidence?
General self-confidence is that that “I can handle it feeling”. People who are generally self-confident do not dwell on negative consequences and usually view outcomes optimistically. They have high self-esteem, which basically refers to the emotional feeling we have about our own self worth. Generally self-confident people appear to take more risks, do not question themselves and believe that they can handle any problem.
Specific self-confidence is based on experience and is that “I’ve been successful in this area before” feeling. People who have specific self-confidence have experienced success and generally do not question their ability or worth in this task. People who have specific self-confidence may have low self esteem or self belief outside the area they are confident in.
Have you felt this distinction in your every day life before? You can perform very complex tasks in work, interact and converse with your colleagues with confidence but if approached by a guy in a bar you become shy and introverted, and immediately start praying you don't spit your drink on him!
To help you boost your confidence and feel instantly better about what you are doing, here are my top 9 ways to help you increase your confidence.
- BECOME AWARE OF YOUR SELF TALK: For a lot of us, when we make a mistake we beat ourselves up. This self criticism never actually does anything to help us, does it? In fact, it's actually very harmful and damaging behaviour. Affirmations are great (I consider myself the affirmation queen) so next time you notice your "inner mean girl" voice change this dialogue straight away. Start by saying "I can do this', 'I am enough', 'I got this'.
- VISUALISE: Visualisation is also known as mental imagery and is a brilliant tool that will help you bring about a specific outcome. It is the process of creating a mental image or intention for what you want to happen in your life. It makes the future clearer and is the first step toward creating it.
- LISTEN TO MUSIC: Music has the ability to instantly transform our mood. Have you ever listened to a super upbeat song and feel completely reenergised as a result? Create an uplifting playlist on your music player and listen to this when you need to psyche yourself up.
- FAKE IT 'TILL YOU MAKE IT: If I believed that I was not going to get the job (for e.g), that belief may have led me to alter the strategies I used for interview preparation, and I would probably perform way below my best. While I may have had a good chance of succeeding, my belief hindered my performance, and I made this belief become reality. Psychological research shows that the self-fulfilling prophecy works for both negative and positive predictions - the beliefs you hold have an impact on what happens to you. In order for you to succeed at what ever you put your mind to you need a belief so strong in your self that you can overcome any set backs.
- DRESS TO IMPRESS (YOURSELF): How we perceive ourselves plays a massive role in how we feel about ourselves. For me, wearing heels instantly boosts my confidence (I feel like rockstar) and even wearing leopard print will give me a little boost too. Appearances can make a difference, so throw on that work dress that makes you feel sharp because how you see yourself will influence how you feel about yourself.
- CHANGE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE: Even if you feel small, taking up more physical space will make you feel more confident too
- SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE: There are positive people everywhere you go but have you stopped surrounding yourself with them? Hang out with people who have similar goals, ideas and desires to you and watch your self belief and confidence soar.
- CREATE A COMPELLING (AND FUN) GOAL: We have to nourish our confidence and constantly take steps towards building it by learning new skills and taking stock of what we are doing well and are good at. Set goals that make you feel good, proud, accomplished, appreciated, respected, or empowered. That is why goal setting is so powerful, because by taking steps towards our goals we are increasing our sense of "I can" and "I got this". Don't be afraid to start with goals that you KNOW you can achieve - build yourself up for success!
- SAY THANK-YOU: It may sound like gratitude is the solution to all your problems and the truth is, it really is! Gratitude plays a massive role in increasing our happiness, confidence and feelings of worth and value! When you can trade expectation for gratitude and supposed to for appreciation you will automatically begin to reduce the pressure you put on yourself to always be perfect, the best and right!
It's so important work on your confidence and this, in turn, will help you break bad habits such as over analysing, comparing and self doubt can cause anxiety, guilt and shame. I have seen, experienced and worked with women who have completely transformed their lives all because they have made a commitment to themselves. I know you can do this!
But if you, like many others, want someone to show you step by step how to breakthrough fear, self-doubt, negativity, tap into your inner strength, confidence, beauty and understand your value and worth then my Empowered Women Workshop is a must for you.
At this workshop you will get 3 hours of training from someone who has spent 5+ years coaching 1000's of people to feel more confident, personal stories from my own life and experience, a personal self confidence plan to help you take 'that' step, uplifting and empowering support from a room full of women who get it and tips and strategies to help you feel empoewred, self assured and good about yourself.
There is no reason why you should not come . Say YES to yourself and book your place today.
Sarah is a life coach and motivational speaker. As the co-founder of The Better Life Project, a movement dedicated to helping you live happy, healthy, positive and confident lives and with oodles of infectious energy she is super passionate about helping to inspire you make your awesome life happen. She’s the “go to” life coach for anyone feeling stuck in a rut, lacking in confidence or struggling with low self-esteem or body image. Sarah offers life coaching and mentoring services and works with clients in person in Dublin, Ireland and over Skype around the world.