How to Live in Your Personal Power

Whether your intention is to reduce stress and anxiety or to take back control of your life, you have the power to make this very easy or very hard on yourself.

To align with your personal power is to live a confident, authentic and empowered life. Yet few women, in todays world, understand what their power is, let alone how to live in it.  


Having experienced one of the most challenging, rewarding and overwhelming years of my life, 2015 has taught me many lessons.

I understand, all too well, how the inner 'mean girl' voice can wreak havoc on our lives and force us into a disempowered state of mind. 


During periods of stress, inner turmoil and busyness I am left feeling vulnerable, exposed and even weak. My inner 'mean girl' voices prays on my insecurities and as a result my day, week or even month becomes a constant people pleasing, submissive, suppressive and powerless up hill battle. 

I have learned the power of practicing kindness and compassion to my body. However, the most recent and challenging phase of my life has been to live fully, in my power as a women. 

A woman running a business. A woman in a loving relationship. A sister, daughter and a best friend. But also a woman who is trying to fall in love with her life, and also herself. 

But what does personal power even mean? 

I did some digging around on line and came across this, in my view, perfect definition by a psychologist called Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D*;

“Personal power is based on strength, confidence, and competence that individuals gradually acquire in the course of their development. It is self-assertion, and a natural, healthy striving for love, satisfaction and meaning in one's interpersonal world. This type of power represents a movement toward self-realization and transcendent goals in life; its primary aim is mastery of self, not others. Personal power is more an attitude or state of mind than an attempt to manoeuvre or control others. It is based on competence, vision, positive personal qualities, and service...”




Your self-esteem was developed as you were growing up and sadly, low self-esteem (how we feel about our selves) is an all too common reality for most women. The reason low self esteem for women is so detrimental is because it disconnects you from your personal power.

When you’re disconnected from your personal power you lose sense of how amazing and full of sparkle you truly are. Your unique talents, strengths and beauty are clouded by fear, a lack of understanding of your worth and value or a lack of purpose. 

You inner mean girl voice consumes your thoughts and before you know it you are giving our power away.


Not only do women in todays world not understand what their power is or how to live in it but they constantly stand in their own way of understanding how to take the first step towards it. 

We live in disempowered states, serving the vision, needs and desires of everyone else around us. If it ever feels like you are more present for other people, that you are more connected and in tune with the needs of people around you or that you want to please everyone then it is time you start to take your power back. 

You need to fill your own tank so that you can take care of the people around you (Read 5 Ways to Honour Yourself to learn more about how you can show some appreciation to yourself).

Here are a few example of how and when women give away their personal power;

  • Caring too much what other people think 
  • Using words like "just", "I'm just wondering if you got my email", "I just wanted to say"
  • Unnecessary apologising.
  • Feeling like we have to do 'XYZ' so that someone else is happy or expects something of us.
  • Our discomfort with self promotion, whether in our business or in a relationship. 
  • A desire to be liked by everyone around us.
  • Failure to recognise that you are unique – Comparing yourself to other women in any way, shape or form immediately sets you up for failure. Recognising your inherent value, raw beauty, unique gifts and letting go of the media’s unrealistic definition of beauty is an essential step to regaining power over your body.
  • Failing to recognise the most important relationship in your life –  Only when you spend more time looking after everyone else is the significance of the relationship you have with yourself so apparent. It is the most important relationship you can have but as women we often experience guilt, tension or shame for this. 
  • Using other women's bodies as aspiration or goals - When we do this we are devaluing our unique gifts and identity. Wanting to be stronger, fitter, leaner, muscular or bigger versions of ourselves is OK but we should not pick and choose other women's body parts to validate these desires. 
  • Dieting - When we diet we relinquish our power and ability to be guided by our intuition, love for food, ability to practice moderation and trust. I acknowledge that some diets are a necessary precursor for many people but when we set unrealistic and unhealthy boundaries for ourselves we restrict and limit ourselves as well.
  • Dressing to hide our bodies - Society has told us that there is a particular way to dress for our body shape that is flattering. As a result we experience shame, embarrassment and even disgust when we we show our bodies. When we take heed of this advice we are giving into the idea that our bodies should be covered and that it is normal to do so. 
  • Apologising for the way that you look - You know when you run in to a friend you havent seen in a while and you apologise for how you look or rationalise it to the other people? Or maybe you out a photo up on Social Media apologising for state of your hair, makeup, lights, angle? Stop doing that!


Do any of these sound familiar to you?


To live in your power means that you do not apologise for who you are or what you want - you are unapologetically you! 

To live in your power is to live an authentic life full of purpose, meaning and love - it is to be the best human you can!


Like Amy below, you can start to feel good about yourself and your life again. Your first step to living in your power will be to create empowering beliefs around your body, mind and spirit (or your purpose). Far too many women feel like they need to completely change in order to feel happy, but this is not the case.

By living in your power - your confident, authentic and strong self - you can change how you think about your life. You will start to feel like you are enough. 

As a life coach it is my job to hold YOU accountable to the commitments you make to yourself. I can help you breakthrough the fear, doubt and insecurity that is preventing you from living in your power and understanding your true worth and value as a women. Talk to me and let me empower you to connect with your confidence, value, worth and strength. 

Get in touch with me today and find out how I can help you transform how you feel and think about yourself - body, mind and spirit!

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