Stop Playing the Victim

I imagined my sparkle would come after I lost the puppy fat. I imagined that happiness would arrive at my doorstep at the same time as the perfect job. I imagined that my partner would make me feel worthy of being loved, and I would then begin to love myself.


I imagined that my life would begin, after I completely changed it.


I thought confidence would be mine when I transformed the way that I looked.


You don’t need to change how you look. You need to change how you think!

I can see you sitting there, curled up on the couch with a hot cup of tea. You are playing the same fantasy out in your head.

Happiness means having the perfect body, partner and job.

But you are so disillusioned by your fantasy you have no idea that you sound like a complete and utter wanker.

Are you even listening to your self?

Why are you placing so many limitations on your confidence and ultimately your happiness?

Your happiness and confidence cannot be defined by just one thing.  Yet everyday this is how you act, think and behave. You walk around like you will only ever be worthy of happiness when you look a very specific way and have a particular thing.

But, if like me you ready to start living than please listen up.




Stop thinking that life is cruel because you don’t have the body, the job, the perfect partner or the simply delightful kids you have always wanted -  that you thought you deserved.

Stop thinking that life is the sum of just one thing.

Stop believing in perfect.

Perfect is just a mask you have created because you are terrified of being judged. You are terrified of failure.\


failure is good.


Failure means that when the rest of the world is sleeping you are up busting your balls CREATING a life that is meaningful.

Failure means that you are moving – daring to live on the outside of your comfort zone. Failure means that you are getting so close to success you can taste it.

How dare you perceive failure in a negative way!

How dare you, from the safety of you comfort zone, judge someone who has made a decision to live life on the edge but has not achieved greatness after one attempt.

How dare you think that this persons efforts are anything less than a gift to this world.

How dare you fear failure.

Failure is a gift and we should embrace and cherish this as it means we are getting closer to our goals. 

The people who are confident and happy – the people who have the life you dream of – are this way because they refuse to give up. It has nothing to with their body or circumstances and everything to do with grit.

How dare you think that only a few of us have what it takes to succeed in this way.

We all have what it takes but you are too busy playing the victim that you haven’t even given yourself a chance to sparkle.

You don’t need to change how you look.


You need to change how you think!


Are you going to wake up tomorrow and let your reflection beat you down again?

Because you don’t look the way you want, do you feel that you are not worthy of his love? 

Love is a crazy and deep feeling. Love is just wanting to be in the same room as someone because at least you are breathing the same air. You can feel their energy and their presence just lifts you. Love is not what you look like on the outside. Love is how you feel about each other’s insides. Do not let your changing body make you feel like you are not worthy of his love. Your body is incredible and you should wear your experiences like a badge of honour. Hold you head high and hold his hand tight and let that be enough 

Are you going hide your first ever story because it’s not perfect?

Your life has not been perfect but that is why you have a story to tell. So why are you waiting for something that has never done anything to benefit you?  Perfect is the very thing you are waiting for in order to thrust you into this world, but in actual fact it is the very thing that is weighing you down. It is preventing you from living – helping people with your stories. Perfect has never existed and it had no part to play in your journey. You may have spent your life aspiring to it but you cannot achieve something that doesn’t exist. You are not perfect, but you don’t have to be to inspire, motivate and encourage others to live a better life.

Are you going to hide your body because you have a little tummy?

Are you happy living in the shadows like this? Watching all your friends play on the beach and soak up the sun.  Are you OK with the fact it has been almost 15 years since you were in a pool? You have forgotten how to swim and you use to love swimming. Trying new things and going on adventures was your thing. But your perception of your body has paralyzed you. Skinny-dipping and spontaneous trips to the beach didn’t happen. All because you didn’t like your tummy.  

When you can see yourself the same way the world sees you than you FLOURISH. 

You will sparkle. You will experience all of what life has to offer.

But you are too good at standing in your own way. Playing the victim comes so naturally to you now that you are unsure of how else to act.

You know you are a good person and you can’t understand why this one aspect of life is causing you so much pain. You want the confidence to succeed more than you want the air that you breath. If you could just overcome this one final hurdle it will all be ok.

You think the world is standing in your way when in reality the only thing stopping you from having the life that you want, is YOU!

I am here to tell you to stop being playing the victim.  

You have arms and legs don’t you? You have a brain in your head and a heart in your chest, right?

You are a god damn miracle and its about time that you get out of your way so that you can live the life you have always dreamed of.

Of course, it’s nice to look pretty but are you telling me that pretty is only one thing? Are you going to tell me that pretty is the sum of my lean arms, shiny hair, clear skin and tight but.




Pretty is the confidence to walk into a room with your head held so high that sparkles come our your nose.

Pretty is when you hold your chin up, your chest high and you shoulders back because you want the world to know that you are proud of who you are.

When you decide that this is what you want then you go out there and you practice this feeling every day. This is how you become confident.

When you decide that you are ready to get out of your own way and begin living the life that you have always desired. This is confidence.

When you breakdown all your self-limiting beliefs and when you stretch your understanding of happiness.This is confidence.

When you are ready to stop playing the victim and love what you are, exactly the that you are. This is confidence.


You maybe at war with yourself now, but you do not have to the victim anymore.


You can chose to be a  warrior! You can have greatness when you are decide to let go of your victim mentality.


Some people say they have chosen happiness. But these people have really just changed their perception of happiness. They have become action takers. They have taken back control. They have become a warrior.

Happiness is a by-product of their understanding, perceptions and choices.

It’s time stop being a victim of your own self-limiting beliefs. It is time to become a warrior, fighting every day to broaden your understanding of happiness. To become open to new ways of doing things and to make a choice that will empower you to reach your potential for happiness.


It’s time to get out of your way. 

Web Analytics